Explaining the Inexplicable
Over the last few weeks I’ve experienced a number of out of the ordinary moments. Things I should not have known nor been aware of I was able to identify in detail before they happened. Beyond being hyper-focused or even in the zone.
These experiences have intensified over the last six months of my life. Understanding things I have never experienced. Knowing things about scenarios I was never involved in but spitting out details of those same scenarios to a friend or loved one. Almost feeling like I’m watching my own existence from another place at times.
Very out of the ordinary experiences. Experiences I have no control over. They just happen. They are beyond my own will. These experiences are scary, puzzling and reassuring all at once. Far beyond any normal I know of. A greater experience of my own being. Hand on chin moments. I am not familiar with this space. but it’s becoming very clear to me I will have to learn to co-exist with this deeper understanding and knowing I never asked for.
My own words coming back to haunt me in the best way.
“Once you cross the threshold you will never be the same. You cannot go back to what you were…”
I’m struggling to understand my own experiences. Not because they are bad but because they are beyond perfect. Out of the ordinary. Beyond my own will. From the smallest and seemingly least significant gesture to life changing moments. All perfectly timed. I watch. I see everything. I don’t miss anything. I know when things are out of the ordinary and not normal. I’ve purposed myself to be in tune. Yet, I’m still stumped. Beyond my ability to process.
The feeling of being able to illuminate a room without ever reaching to turn on a light. That’s the best way I can describe my own existence at the moment. The most amazing space I’ve ever been in. The feeling of being connected to all things in all places at all times is very real and transcends our earthly existence. I am living that truth.